Saturday, 9 February 2013

Will You Be My Valentine....?

As Valentines Day Approaches...

And we watch our mailboxes with anticipation...
Or do we do that anymore?

It seems to me that everything is done digitally so naturally, we can assume any expected Valentines Day sentiments to be delivered in a similar manner.  

Humph, not very romantic if you ask me.

What happened to the old fashioned Valentines Day card? I see them in the stores, but are they starting to go by the wayside like the age-old Christmas Card?  Call me outdated, but isn't it simply a traditional part of the season to send cards at Christmas?
To be honest, I got a new job at the end of November and did not have the time to get my Christmas Cards off, and only received about 5 myself – thank you Bernadette, Yael, Lara, Kathy, Karen and families. I have no real excuse and I am usually on top of this tradition. Next year I will definitely go back to my old ways and send my cards, but can almost bet, I will only receive the same five, 'happily anticipated' cards.

That brings me back to the much longed for, Valentines Day Card.

When was the last time any of you received an anonymous note in a REAL CARD for Valentines Day? Perhaps I am asking the wrong people. Maybe all of you have spouse’s, girlfriends, boyfriends, partners-in-crime etc., who are on top of this very important day.

But what about the rest of us ‘singletons’? Singletons of all ages from my friend’s 18 year old daughter who is having a hard time finding a boyfriend in Calgary (of all places to have difficulty), to my gorgeous sixty-year-old aunt who doesn’t look a day over fifty and doesn’t let the grass grow under her feet? And those of us in between – what about us?

And I am not talking about the dear, sweet, and much valued cards I/you get from my/your friends children. When was the last time any of you single, unattached people actually received a Valentines Day card in the mail from a ‘secret admirer’? 
To be honest, I can’t even remember whether my last boyfriend sent me a card, which is probably why we are no longer together. And once again as it happens every year, the approach of Valentines Day has got me thinking – when was the last time someone popped out of the woodwork and into my life?

The last time I received a card (with a heart-shaped box of chocolates attached to it) with an anonymous declaration of love, was in High School.
Yes, I did eventually find out whom it was from, and no, the feeling wasn’t mutual. But for a whole day I was left wondering if it really was the boy I was secretly crushing. When I found out who my secret admire was, I was flattered. He was a friend and I had no idea he liked me, and though I didn’t reciprocate the fuzzy, romantic feelings he had for me, we remained friends. I remember asking him about it a few years later and his comment to me was:
“Why not? What did I have to lose? This way, I would never be left wondering years from now…if only I had told her, what would she have said? So there are no regrets Maggie, because I put it out there, got my answer, and moved on.”
Well done he-who-shall-not-be-identified-to-protect-the-innocent…you've got nerves of steel! The most important thing I learnt from this was, “…I got my answer, and moved on.” But I did not learn this lesson right away – it only sunk in years later as I got older and began to reflect upon my life.

How many people out there could do this now, especially as we age? For some reason high-school students and to a degree, the college aged set seem to have this romantic incline in spades. So when does it start to disappear? Or does it just fade away as we move through life? Maybe it is merely that we become more sensitive to rejection after having experienced it in its many forms so many times – work, relationships, sports, your bodies relationship with junk food and exercise ‘now’ as opposed to when you were a teenager, etc. Let’s face it, it’s easier to keep our feelings to ourselves and wait for the other person to make the first move, it's safer that way – but there is a problem with this thinking. If you don’t get up off your bottom and tell that person how you really feel, you risk losing them to someone else who is willing to put it all out on the line.

Perhaps that other person got tired/will get tired of waiting for you. Which is why he/she has/will wander off into the sunset with the one who comes-a-calling.

So Romeo/Juliette, what are you going to do about it?

As Valentines Day descends upon us once more, I challenge all singletons out there who have been secretly pining away for someone, to lay it all out on the line.  Make this year different. At least this way, you’ll have your answer. And if it doesn’t go your way, it opens a door for someone else to enter.

Seriously, what have you got to lose?

Maggie D.

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