Will You Be My Valentine....?

As Valentines Day Approaches...

And we watch our mailboxes with anticipation...

Or do we do that anymore?

It seems to me that everything is done digitally so naturally, we can assume any expected Valentines Day sentiments to be delivered in a similar manner.  

Humph, not very romantic if you ask me.

What happened to the old fashioned Valentines Day card? I see them in the stores, but are they starting to go by the wayside like the age-old Christmas Card?  Call me outdated, but isn't it simply a traditional part of the season to send cards at Christmas?

To be honest, I got a new job at the end of November and did not have the time to get my Christmas Cards off, and only received about 5 myself – thank you Bernadette, Yael, Lara, Kathy, Karen and families. I have no real excuse and I am usually on top of this tradition. Next year I will definitely go back to my old ways and send my cards, but can almost bet, I will only receive the same five, 'happily anticipated' cards.

That brings me back to the much longed for, Valentines Day Card.

When was the last time any of you received an anonymous note in a REAL CARD for Valentines Day? Perhaps I am asking the wrong people. Maybe all of you have spouse’s, girlfriends, boyfriends, partners-in-crime etc., who are on top of this very important day.

But what about the rest of us ‘singletons’? Singletons of all ages from my friend’s 18 year old daughter who is having a hard time finding a boyfriend in Calgary (of all places to have difficulty), to my gorgeous sixty-year-old aunt who doesn’t look a day over fifty and doesn’t let the grass grow under her feet? And those of us in between – what about us?

And I am not talking about the dear, sweet, and much valued cards I/you get from my/your friends children. When was the last time any of you single, unattached people actually received a Valentines Day card in the mail from a ‘secret admirer’? 

To be honest, I can’t even remember whether my last boyfriend sent me a card, which is probably why we are no longer together. And once again as it happens every year, the approach of Valentines Day has got me thinking – when was the last time someone popped out of the woodwork and into my life?

The last time I received a card (with a heart-shaped box of chocolates attached to it) with an anonymous declaration of love, was in High School.

Yes, I did eventually find out whom it was from, and no, the feeling wasn’t mutual. But for a whole day I was left wondering if it really was the boy I was secretly crushing. When I found out who my secret admire was, I was flattered. He was a friend and I had no idea he liked me, and though I didn’t reciprocate the fuzzy, romantic feelings he had for me, we remained friends. I remember asking him about it a few years later and his comment to me was:

“Why not? What did I have to lose? This way, I would never be left wondering years from now…if only I had told her, what would she have said? So there are no regrets Maggie, because I put it out there, got my answer, and moved on.”

Well done he-who-shall-not-be-identified-to-protect-the-innocent…you've got nerves of steel! The most important thing I learnt from this was, “…I got my answer, and moved on.” But I did not learn this lesson right away – it only sunk in years later as I got older and began to reflect upon my life.

How many people out there could do this now, especially as we age? For some reason high-school students and to a degree, the college aged set seem to have this romantic incline in spades. So when does it start to disappear? Or does it just fade away as we move through life? Maybe it is merely that we become more sensitive to rejection after having experienced it in its many forms so many times – work, relationships, sports, your bodies relationship with junk food and exercise ‘now’ as opposed to when you were a teenager, etc. Let’s face it, it’s easier to keep our feelings to ourselves and wait for the other person to make the first move, it's safer that way – but there is a problem with this thinking. If you don’t get up off your bottom and tell that person how you really feel, you risk losing them to someone else who is willing to put it all out on the line.

Perhaps that other person got tired/will get tired of waiting for you. Which is why he/she has/will wander off into the sunset with the one who comes-a-calling.

So Romeo/Juliette, what are you going to do about it?

As Valentines Day descends upon us once more, I challenge all singletons out there who have been secretly pining away for someone, to lay it all out on the line.  Make this year different. At least this way, you’ll have your answer. And if it doesn’t go your way, it opens a door for someone else to enter.

Seriously, what have you got to lose?

Maggie D.

STILL MOMENTS CHRISTMAS BLOG HOP

Someone recently asked about my favourite Christmas memory ever - and to keep it under 100 words - and it got me thinking. I love the season and with so many memories to choose from it was a tough slog through my memory-bank. 

There are the standard memories that stand out from a child’s point of view, like the time when I was five and woke up to my very own Barbie camper van, or the following year when I woke up to find my very own Barbie House - to this day I have no idea where my parents found it because it wasn't your standard house, it was a mansion. It was not in any catalogue I had seen, and I was up on my Barbie gear so I knew Santa thought I was special.

As lovely as those are, it was neither.

My favourite Christmas memory would have to be when I was at school in England, in 1992. I can't believe it was 20 years ago now. I had never celebrated Christmas in England before, but it felt like I was home because of my mother’s two sisters, and my cousins. My other cousins from New Zealand, whom I happened to have spent Christmas with in their home country in 1988, were also in England at the time (my mother had three sisters and two brothers, all spread out around the globe) so we were quite a large group that year. I remember looking about the sitting room at one point during the holidays, surrounded by my mother's family - my family - wondering if I would ever get to spend Christmas with all of them again. It was a very special time, and I knew then, in those hours, how exceptionally rare that moment was, and I cherished it, placing it into a corner of my mind forever as a pivotal moment in my life.

You need to understand my mother’s family – they hail from Liverpool and as everyone knows, Liverpulian’s have a wickedly dry sense of humour. We were not short of laughs at any point over the holidays, we had fun. I did miss my parents, brothers and my father's side of the family that I grew up with in Canada, but knew I would have many Christmases ahead with them, so I wasn’t too torn up about missing Christmas at home. I went back to school on the 2nd of January, happy and content, and full of great memories of a wonderful Christmas - this is one of my favourite Christmas memories.

Fast forward 19 years to last Christmas. I went back to England, but not for the Holidays. My mother’s youngest sister had been sick. She left us all behind on the 14^th of December, and we buried her on the 23^rd. And as I looked about the sitting room on Christmas Day, it was clear to myself and others someone was missing. But before the melancholy struck we pulled out some pictures – and there they were – the memories of a Christmas that felt like yesterday. That joyous Christmas when we were all together, when we were all happy, and when we were all healthy and walking somewhere upon this earth.

When I think of my happiest Christmas memory I think of Christmas 1992. It is always the one that comes to mind. And it will live in my memory forever.